I have recently heard of stay-at-home moms talking about how working moms are neglecting their kids and if they can't afford to stay home then they should not have children (this is usually coming from the wife of an executive or an officer, in other words they don't have much concern over lack of money). I was a working mom for about 2 1/2 months when Jack was 4-6 1/2 months old. It was a pretty good job as far as having time to be with Jack. I worked 4 days a week 7 hours a day. It was very difficult for me to be away from my little guy and I was very jealous of women who could stay at home with their babies. I was laid off due to corporate downsizing and we decided that I would stay home with Jack instead of looking for another job. I feel very fortunate that I can stay at home but I have to admit that I am sometimes a little envious of moms who work. It's great to feel vital in that way, I'm not sure how else to say that.
I think that moms who stay home with their kids are doing something special and wonderful. But I think that moms who work are amazing, they are showing their kids the importance of working and being responsible. I have a great respect for working moms, whatever their financial situation may be. I don't think that working moms spend less quality time with their kids, if anything I think they probably spend more. It's easy to put off those special things, like reading or building Lincoln Log cabins when you know you can do it after lunch or the afternoon nap and pretty soon the kids are asleep and you didn't play with them at all that day.
My sister-in-law works full time and I noticed when I was visiting that every night she spent a long time reading books with the kids. She is very patient and attentive to the kids when she is home with them. It's like she knows how to push aside every other issue or concern and focus all of her attention on her children. I guess my point is that moms are going to put their children's needs before everything else, whether they stay at home or work.
4 comments:
I think it's like anything, you need to have a balance. I know mums who stay at home and quite honestly are lousy at parenting! Yet other mums who work and are very attentive. There have been studies done in Sweden, they followed babies through to 21yold. Focusing and measuring intelligence of kids whose mum stayed home......kids whose mum worked and the child was put into day care and kids who were cared for by women who ran "day care" centres from their homes for mothers who had to work. The difference was not all that great between the mum who worked and the mum who stayed home BUT the mum who worked and left her kid with the daycare centre ran from a home....that kid showed marked lower intelligence! They did say why, but i can't remember LOL!
There is a home run daycare two doors down from my mom and I can't imagine why anyone would leave their kids there. One of the kids got hit by a car because he was riding his bike across the main road. She doesn't supervise them very well. That was the reason I put Jack in an actual daycare facility not an in-home. I think that the daycare places are held to higher standards by the state than the in-homes. Who knows? I'm going to look up that study though. Thanks for the post!
Thanks for the nice things you said, Cassie!
Having been on both sides of the fence, each has their pros and cons. I miss my kids at work, but I remember missing adults when I was home.
It is hard leaving the little ones isn't it? I know I had a hard time when I was working. Although I'm starting to feel like I'd like a part-time job again. It's hard since Brett works all day and then takes classes at night. I wouldn't have anyone to watch him, except Grace and she is no Carl.
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