Health Issues

So it starts already. I've always had troubled pregnancies but I've never had problems start this soon in pregnancy.

We just found out I am pregnant about a week and a half ago. I'm only 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. Already I am on bedrest. At least for now. I had unbearable pain in my back and abdomen yesterday morning and spent all morning in the emergency room. When they sent me home they said they don't know what was wrong with me but I could be experiencing early signs of miscarriage. Great. That was certainly reassuring. Sometimes I think the doctors and nurses see everything so clinically that they forget that they are dealing with sensitive subjects. Miscarriage being among those. We want this baby. I'm praying that everything will go according to God's plan. I am strangely calm about the prospect of losing the baby but I find myself horrible anxious about other things. Like money. It really stinks to be on bedrest because we cannot afford for me not to work. Since I'm not permanent I don't have any sick time and I don't get paid when I'm off. But we still have to pay for daycare not to mention our other bills. They are trying to get me on as a "project" person which is temporary but with full benefits and the position pretty much lasts indefinately. I worry that my not being there for a few days will affect that.

I wonder if I am projecting some of the stress into the bills and my job because at least those are things I have some control over. There's one for the psychoanalysts of the blogosphere. Anyway, I need to hit the sack. I'm not tired but I'm on bedrest, which is hard to do sitting in the chair at the computer.