Ugh!

Well I feel a lot better today. I spent 3 hours asleep during the day thanks to Gramma who picked Jack up and watched him yesterday afternoon. She also took him today while I went to the doctor to check up on the girls (info to follow). When I got home we hung out at "Yaya's" house until my DH got home from work and then we took Jack and visited a new childcare facility. This one will take him on a part time basis so that we can hopefully afford it and so that I can get more rest without killing Gramma in the process.

Jack is a pretty good littly guy. But he is exhausting. He makes me so tired and it's not just from physical activity. A lot of it is the constant chatter. And you can't ignore him or you end up agreeing to things you don't want to. "I want all da candies. Can I mom?" "Uh huh, sure. No! Wait! I didn't mean that!" We have candy in the house to encourage potty training. He's pretty nearly there and he doesn't get candy unless he thinks of it. A lot of the time he doesn't. There are times that he doesn't want to stop playing but he really needs to go, at those times I find the encouragement is helpful. It's not my first choice for an incentive but nothing else worked and I was getting desperate.

He is doing so well, I am so proud of him. There are times periodically, when he doesn't make it. To me the accidents don't "count" unless he doesn't attempt to make it to the potty. If his timing is off then I know he'll get better, I only worry when he doesn't even try. It happens sometimes but we're getting there. We do not put diapers or pull ups on him at all except at night time. He'll even stay dry through naptime. I stressed to the new childcare place that I am not willing to put him back in diapers or pull ups. I don't think it's beneficial to him. He will not attempt to use the bathroom if he is wearing pull ups or a diaper. He would rather wear them because then he doesn't have to stop what he's doing to go potty. I also made it clear that we can get him to go at home with a lot of success so if they can't then that's their problem. I didn't phrase it like that but honestly, it's true. If I'm not there what can I do to help them besides talk to him in the evening. It's up to them when they have him there. I didn't get so bitter until I had issues with his previous daycare in this area. The afternoon teachers couldn't get him to go so somehow that was my problem. If I can get him to go and the day teacher can then I think the problem is the afternoon teachers not Jack.

Anywhoooo... enough ranting. The girls are doing well. We've picked names but I'm not publishing them. I guess I am on a rant about that too. A lot of people take it upon themselves to tell us how much they don't like the names we have picked and how we should choose other names. I remember doing that before I had kids. Not suggesting names per say, but expressing my dislike of certain names. For this I am truly sorry. There is one person in particular that has been so pushy about us naming on after her that although I like her name I could never choose it now. In fact we chose her sister's name. That really made her mad. We didn't choose it to make her mad, we just liked it a lot. If you want to know, email me and I'll tell you privately.

The doctor said that Miss A weighs 1 pound 12 ounces and Miss B weighs 1 pound 10 ounces. They are extremely busy. There is almost no time that someone isn't moving in there. Miss A is more active but Miss B is catching up. I sometimes wonder if I had too much trauma from my previous birthing experiences and just can't feel much on that side because she moves a lot on the ultra sounds, I just can't feel the movement as much. My doctor said that if I do not lie down to rest a good part of the day (most of the day) then there is a really good chance that I will end up on bedrest in the hospital. Hence the daycare for Jack. We are putting him in care 3 days a week to save money since we really can't afford daycare without my income. I've come up with enough money to pay for a month but I'll have to pray about how to pay for the next month. It's worth it if I can stay home and be near my family, let alone give the twins a better chance for survival and less of a chance of having lasting effects of prematurity. If I end up in the hospital it will be a good hour and a half drive from here because that is the hospital that can best care for me and the babies. The only way I can have the babies in this local area is if I make it past 31 weeks. The doctor all but said that that is not possible if I don't get someone else to watch Jack most of the time. Up until now they haven't told me anything about being in the hospital etc. That was pretty sobering. It's hard for me to take this all seriously, fortunately I get weekly reminders when I go to the doctor.

I think Jack will feel better once he is in care again. We took him this evening and he told us he wanted to go back tonight. I told him he has to wait until Monday but he is very excited. He has asked several times to be able to go back to "school". He misses the interaction with other kids. He has been behaving rather "rough" lately. He gets mad for no apparent reason and I think it's because he is bored. I think he is going to enjoy getting to go to daycare again. At least I hope so. I feel guilty that I am unable to care for him as well as he deserves right now. It's not his fault and I feel like he is getting the short end of the stick here. Poor little guy. I'll keep you posted (at least every once in awhile) as to how everything is going. Gramma will always have the scoop too, when I'm not around the blogosphere.