Random thoughts and things

I keep having dreams about my mom. In my dreams my mom doesn't say anything. It's almost like her body is there but she isn't.

I love autumn and I want to look forward to it but I feel like I can't. Because how could autumn, or any season be good without mom?

I keep thinking that I should give her a call because it's been awhile since I talked to her. The realization that she is gone hits me each time.

I just want to hurry up and get through life so I can be with her again. But I don't like that I keep getting further from the last time I talked to her.

Everyday, at least once but often more than once a day, I think, "Mom is gone? No that's not right. She can't be gone. She is the one person besides my kids that can't be gone.

I probably have said some of this stuff before on here but no one is reading it but me so it doesn't matter. But in case someone shows up someday and thinks I repeat myself, well I guess I do.